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EXCERPTS FROM THE MIND OF A SOCIAL-MEDIA-USING GEN Z.

My dad called me downstairs one day. “How do you make a live video on Facebook?” I smirked. Because I was pretty sure that the ‘live’ feature was explained in detailed steps somewhere on the app. I was even more amused that even with his meticulousness and fastidiousness to detail, he still couldn’t figure it out. In two minutes, he was live. Well…” why did it take a couple minutes? ” you may ask. Because I am not on Facebook! Even with all the advancements Mr Zuckerberg has made, somehow the app still smells of musk, is damp and pale and has webs all around it like an old abandoned house. “The content of your messages and calls in an end-to-end encrypted conversation is protected from the moment it leaves your device to the moment it reaches the receiver’s device,” Facebook Messenger director of product management Ruth Kricheli. What a refreshing policy! Still doesn’t beat Twitter I’d say. Yes, I know there’s still no “edit” button, but the Gen Z gang and half the crop of Millenni
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STAY WITH ME

 The man dipped the little plastic dish into the water. That was the first for the day, the one he and his love would drink, hoping it would keep them alive till the next day, or that it would breed an infection inside them and kill them—that was also something to hope for.  They'd been in the toilet for five days now, weak and almost losing their minds, one; from fear. They'd been trying to hide from those extremists that had invaded the locality five days ago with rocket launchers so common in their hands as if they had a much larger and tougher enemy to destroy than non-conformist humans, also known as infidels. Two; from starvation. As soon as the first shots were fired on Friday night about 400 meters away, the two love birds rose up from their bed, and their arousals swiftly grew limp. They had to act. They had to hide somehow, there was no place for an escape.  They knew how dangerous and susceptible the area was to those kind of attacks, but they were much more overcome

2020: THE REALITY

So I was like, “Ohh, dang! 2020 is here. I never thought we'd come this close to the year. It looked so far away from 2010 at the time. But well, this is my year...now that it's here. It's mine.” 😈 *sinister music played in the background * (At the time, I thought it was my senses playing the tune of my conquest over the year) We came into the year through the doors of our church. Quite usual. In fact, it would have been the most unusual thing if it didn't happen like that. And another thing that happened that always happens as usual was that I got pissed at one family member just a few hours into the new year. Well, that was not in anyway discouraging. I had the whole year to myself. First week into 2020, I was scrolling through twitter and I saw a good number of tweets about wildfires destroying Australia. I checked the year on my phone screen. 2020 . “Oga o” . I checked the trend section of twitter and saw over 250k tweets with the #Australiawildfire hashtag.

THE LAST PROPHECY

"It would be said of these times, that everybody acted as they saw fit." 2050 Taiwo switched on his all-purpose artificially intelligent house help. “Ogidan, call my husband. Tell him I'm going to the art exhibition show I told him about”. “Yes, Taiwo”. He put on his black burberry coat, snapped his finger in the air to turn off the power in the house, then he left. On his lawn, while walking to his Aeromobil he thought about his White Detective husband, Michael. He left two weeks before to the National Unit for Space and Time Travel seeking permission to go back to the past 30 years to get to the root of series of crimes allegedly committed by the Nigerian government. He had since left and his only means of communication to the present time was his very much outdated Multidimensional Space Transmitter, one of the very first set of futuristic tech to be produced in 2036. He prayed to God for his protection. He was part of the few who supposedly believed in God. Even

SO, “GOD WHEN” HAS ENDED FOR ME JUST LIKE THAT😌

So, I ended my 6-year long IT on the 1st of November😌. It was actually six weeks, but the supervisor in charge stretched the time in my eyes😒. *Shocks* This darn school didn't let me rest from the IT. They quickly told us to resume school 4 days later to “defend” what we claimed in our logbooks as our Industrial Training experience. But mans was unfazed. I'm always ready for sh*t like that. So I carried my white rough shirt and put it on(light no dey dey that time), and then I had to wear my favourite blazer on it to cover the shame. God no go shame us. Amen🙏 . I went to school and I bossed my defense...with little glitches by the way though. Walking out like a don from my conquest, I met my friend(ehn, not really sha. All these see and greet people for department). I sha greeted her like we used to. let me remind you that in all my previous blog posts, I've been 'singu' to stupor , and it was pretty obvious in that I never talked about anyone's dating/rela

IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU

I remember being about 7 or 8 years of age when my family and I were all in my dad's Benz C class 300. There was quite a long queue of vehicles ahead of us. Typical Lagos traffic situation. We decided to buy chocolate flavoured yoghurts in that pyramid shaped pack from a hawker. The other four people in the vehicle had straws strapped to their yoghurt but mine had none. I remember the feeling. I remember feeling left out and unimportant, but I didn't open my mouth to complain. I remember too, when I was in my last year in primary school. Our class teacher decided to show us how to make Yam & Fried eggs. When we were done with the cooking, what followed was, “line up on a single file so that I'll share it. If you're not on the line, you'll not get anything”. I obediently queued. Twenty minutes down the line, literally(but pun intended), it still hadn't got to my turn to get my share of the food on a queue of not more than twenty pupils. Again, I remember fee

HOW ABOUT YOU JUST HUSH IT WHEN THE PROCESS IS ON?

Among the other big temptations that come our way everyday, there lies the hidden, albeit, very prominent one of them, the temptation to DECLARE YOUR GRANTS AS YOUR ASSET BEFORE THE PAPERWORK IS FULLY DONE. Yes I'm a Liverpool fan, and we just completed the greatest comeback of the 21st Century in the most elite football league in the world. And yes, 24 hours later Tottenham joins us to do a comeback and seal their first ever Final in the tournament's history. BUT YES, that inner sweet temptation to tell your haters that you're already winning is real for all of us...and there's no denying it. It has almost become like a pattern for many to have loads of people working against their dreams (actively or passively), then they begin to “shock the world” and prove their haters wrong, put up loathe-spiced “inspirational quotes” on their whatsapp, then they keep this good stint on for a while, then like the momentum of the pendulum that takes it to one far extreme and doesn